Start Feeling Closeness with Your Partner and Yourself

For many couples intimacy isn't easy. Relationship problems start from array of of issues and are unique as your fingerprint. If you want to rekindle your sexual relationship with your partner start to build trust in yourself and with them.

A Healthy relationship Starts with YOU

When your self esteem hinders your ability to have a healthy sex life, you are likely to feel you are missing a connection with your partner and possibly a dulled libido. Sexual intimacy is part of relationship wellness. The first step toward pulling excitement back into a long-term relationship really does start with your own relationship of self. Developing an emotional connection with your own psyche will empower you in the bedroom. The sexiest thing you can wear is confidence. When you start small it will build.

Self-Acceptance: Accept yourself as you are, including your body, desires, and preferences. Recognize that everyone has insecurities and imperfections, and it's okay to embrace them. Do not feel like you need to be all there, but start working on how you feel about yourself. Work on your self esteem, worth and love for yourself. When we don't truly love ourselves it is almost impossible to be vulnerable and honest with another human being. It is only once we can appreciate and love ourselves that we can accept the love of another person. "Stay afraid, but do it anyway. What's important is the action. You don't have to wait to be confident. Just do it and eventually the confidence will follow." -- Carrie Fisher
Explore Your Body: Take the time to explore your own body and become familiar with what feels good to you. Masturbation can be a valuable tool for self-discovery and building confidence in your sexual abilities. Also releasing those endorphins from self pleasure will relax you. Release that oxytocin and dopamine to relax you.
Positive Affirmations: Practice positive self-talk and affirmations to counteract negative thoughts or insecurities. Remind yourself of your strengths, beauty, and worthiness of pleasure.
Self-Care: Prioritize self-care practices that make you feel good about yourself, whether it's exercise, healthy eating, grooming, or engaging in activities that boost your mood and confidence. Self care can look different for different people. For some it might be a hard core work out and for others it might be a long hot bath in solitude and silence. If you are having a hard time
Educate Yourself: Learn more about sexuality, pleasure, and relationships through books, articles, workshops, or therapy. Knowledge can empower you and help you feel more confident in your sexual encounters. Never be afraid to ask questions. If you don't ask, you'll never know.
Set Realistic Expectations: Understand that not every sexual encounter will be perfect, and that's okay. Embrace the imperfections and focus on enjoying the moment rather than striving for perfection. We don't need to climax or be perfect every time. Sometimes it is just being present.
Seek Professional Help: If low self-esteem in the bedroom significantly impacts your well-being or relationships, consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor who specializes in sexual health and confidence issues. Make sure to check out some of the people I know who specialize in sexual therapy.

Creating a Romantic Atmosphere Outside the Bedroom

Trying Something New Together

It does take effort to spend time together, and so much of our everyday humdrum life puts our relationship on the back burner. If physical intimacy seems really hard right now try new things outside of the bedroom. Creative activities together can shake up the banal and add a spark in your relationship.

Going on a hike in nature can provide you both with peace and quiet getting you both off of your devices and unplugged. Disconnected from the grid will reconnect you to one another.
Take a class together. What are somethings you can enjoy doing together? Cooking classes, dancing class, rock climbing, or woodworking class.
Plan a date night together, set aside the time away from everyone else to just focus on one another. Quality time together will allow reconnection.
Stay in but don't turn on the TV. Bust out a puzzle, large coloring book or read a book together.
Cook a meal. Find something that you both love to eat and cook from scratch. This is building teamwork and you are creating something together.

How to Rekindle Your Bedroom Life

Tips for Bringing Back and Improve Intimacy

Just Do it. Nike has it right with that slogan and sometimes we need to just do the deed. If it has been awhile you might just feel out of practice and the idea of actually doing it seems time consuming, but guess what? You can just dive in for a quickie and wipe away that dry spell.
Get Neked - Strip down and hop in the shower together. Soak in the tub together. Bath one another.
Turn off your phone and cuddle. When we engage in intimate non sexual moments with our partner we can strengthen our connection to them
Ask questions, listen to what they say and ask them more questions about what they said.
Hold hands and look into their eyes, and flirt. Physical affection and touch are the building blocks of intimacy.
Get dressed up to get stripped down.
Provide a random act of kindness with no expectation of reciprocation. This is a beautiful display of effort. When show we are willing to put in the work, provide something even as so small as a post note saying "you are wonderful" if shows you made a conscious effort toward them.
Get a hotel - If you are in a living situation where you cannot fully yourself the way you would wish find a space you can do that. Plus sometime a new environment reignite the spark.

Spicing Things Up in the Bedroom

Here are some ways to bring back the spark and shake things up in the bedroom:
The basis of any strong relationship is communication, that goes for everything from organizing your schedules to rolling around between the sheets. The foundation of spicing things up starts with talking openly with your partner about your desires, fantasies, and what you might want to try. This can alleviate any potential awkwardness and ensure you're both comfortable and on the same page.

Experiment with something new. Introducing new activities can be exciting. Whether it's trying out new positions, experimenting with role play, or introducing toys, new experiences can rekindle passion. If it wasn't your cup of tea then you never have to do it again, but you never know until you try.
Create the mood. Setting the right atmosphere can hugely impact your mood and desire. Consider dimming the lights, playing soft music, or lighting some scented candles to create a more sensual environment.

Watch a hot and steamy movie together. You don't have to get this is at the adult movie store, there are plenty available from your everyday streaming services. Reading or watching erotica together can help stimulate your imaginations and inspire you to try out some of the scenarios that excite you both. Check out my list of top 10 hot steamy movies.

Keep a "fantasy box"...kind of like a suggestion box. Write down fantasies or things you'd like to try on pieces of paper and place them in a box. Periodically, take turns drawing from the box and explore the selected fantasy together.
Take it slow. This is the tease that pays off. Increasing the time and effort put into foreplay can greatly enhance the sexual experience. Explore each other’s bodies and discover new erogenous zones. We are so much more than our bits. The neck, the ear, the hip...what place has a slight tickle that feels oh so good?

Read books, listen to podcasts, or watch videos together about enhancing sexual wellness and intimacy. Learning new techniques or ideas can be both educational and arousing.
Spontaneity can be very exciting. Surprise your partner with a new lingerie, a sexy note, or by initiating sex unexpectedly.
Remember, the goal is to have fun and feel closer to your partner. Be respectful of each other’s boundaries and always ensure consent. It’s okay to try something and then decide it’s not for you. The key is to keep an open mind and maintain an ongoing dialogue about what works for both of you in your relationship.

Rekindle Intimacy: Boosting Body Confidence in the Bedroom