Healing Fresh Wounds and Breaking Self Doubt

My friend Eldika is one such brave woman. She has fought the world all these years and come out stronger after every struggle. The day of our shoot was a hard day for her, no sugar coating it.

I had the great opportunity of photographing Eldika at Seattle Boudoir & Company. I loved her attitude and the results came out fabulous.

Eldika’s Story

Here’s Eldika’s story. She wanted to share it in her own words. You can read what she wrote below!

“Self-confidence has never come easy to me. Let me rephrase that: ACTUAL self-confidence has never come easy to me. I’ve been good at standing proud, sticking up for myself, and being in command. But, until recently, it had not been very honest.

I grew up on the border in El Paso, Texas. As a child, I was considered too black to laugh at jokes spoken in Spanish and too Hispanic for cornrows. As a teen, I was mocked for playing bass in a punk rock band while also maintaining good grades in school. I participated and excelled in swimming. I was a part of a band, theatre, which wasn’t considered very “punk rock.” Later, I put myself through college. And nursing school full-time with some help from my mother and while still working two jobs. I spent years in my late twenties in an abusive, controlling, manipulative relationship. As a result of this toxic relationship, I still struggle with PTSD, depression, and anxiety.

In 2014, when I left my hometown to start fresh, I was exposed to a different type of adversity. I worked in the NICU units. The color of my skin than my nursing ability was the reason parents refused me to care for their children. Feeling rejected for being too black, or not being black enough, or Mexican enough was one part. Not being punk enough, or enough of a girlfriend was another part of the story. My struggles with my weight were also a barrier others used against me.

In spite of it all, I’ve tried to live a genuine life, which now, at 38, I can finally reflect on. Every hardship, strife, and setback.

I can look at myself in the mirror and, for the first time, speak my truth. These things happened, but they don’t define you. Don’t let them consume you. You came out on top. I can now tell myself and actually believe it. I have worked hard on myself and worked hard to achieve my goals. I grow by the day; I am a beautiful work in progress.

Now I embrace everything about me that others were quick to criticize. I speak my broken Spanish, with pride. I wear my crowns (what I like to call my headwraps), with pride. I blast the dopest jams as loud as my stereo allows, with pride. I advocate for my mental health and the mental health of others with no shame- with pride! I strut my stuff both mentally and literally when I walk into work. Because I am confident in my ability to give outstanding care. I spend my free time shaking all this glorious flab in belly dance classes because it feels good. I refuse to allow anyone to take any of this away from me now. I AM ME AND I AM PROUD! And my confidence, genuine and true, builds daily.

However, posing for a boudoir shoot was not something I ever thought I would have the confidence to do. Yet, somehow, I was drawn to it. To say the experience was cathartic is an understatement.

Molly really knew how to spark my confidence. She drew it out which translated into the most beautiful photos. The first time I saw them, I couldn’t believe these photos were of me. I can’t thank her enough for conveying what I feel within me to something others can see.

Before, it was as though the perceptions of others were what defined me. Now that is no longer the case and this shoot really cemented that inner part of me. I share this because I know most of you struggle with pieces of what I’m saying, too. But, know I am here. I am your ally. My mouth is open to share with you. My ears are open to hear from you. My arms are open to embrace you. You are a boss, babe. OWN IT!”

Be Your Own Woman

Thank you so much, Eldika for giving me a chance to photograph the sassy you. I loved our boudoir session as much as you did. I am sure your story will inspire many. It will help them to be proud of themselves and never give up.

I wish all my readers and clients lots of love and confidence. Those who truly see you will love you. Those who don’t, are not worth investing time in. I want everyone to know I see you for the love you have in you. Love one another, stand by your sister with conviction and pride. Embrace the human next to you. Love is infinite and it does not cost you anything. Moreover, the rewards are amazing!

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